Dear You, 

Permission is Granted.  Be Empowered.

Sincerely, 

The Universe 

Once upon a time, there was a man no one knew. 
He was unspeaking.
He was impenetrably strong.
He was scary.   
            and he still is. 

Permission:     /pərˈmiSH(ə)n/,  a noun 

Oxford Dictionary's definition  =  consent; authorization

my definition = an energy commodity with a wide range of costs: a commodity where the cost/benefit ratio creates barriers for action(s) 

What does permission mean to you? 

    Where and/or Who do you get your permission from? 

    How much does it cost you??? 

    Can permission be free? 

Can permission be the investment that yields returns in every aspect of your life? 

Inside everyone is a something.

 A story. A reason. A love. A wish. 

Something special. Something unique. 

What are the barriers between you and your something? 

Can you find permission to:  be afraid, be creative, go against,  be authentic, be without regret, seek answers, and/or embrace your something? 

A Reflection:  

In my opinion, permission is a tricky, ambiguous sorceress reliant upon culture and tenacity for sustenance. It can be respectful and welcoming at times and brutal at others. Sometimes it's both, simultaneously. 

Throughout life, we are taught a variety of "permission" constructs needed to ensure safety, acceptance, and even love.

For example, growing up I learned very early to never talk back to anyone deemed a "grown-up" - period.  Especially not a family member!

At the same time, I was thoroughly encouraged to have my own thoughts and opinions. And keeping those to myself was a necessary, pertinent survival skill reinforced by a strong, iron fist.  

My southern-ish subculture, established by generations past, had rules regarding permissions assumed, granted, and denied based on gender and age-based hierarchies. 

If a family elder said "jump", I didn't ask "how high", I just jumped and hoped that I did it right. Asking a question like "how high" was an invitation for a physical and/or verbal beatdown. Living in my family, you did what you were told -period.

(Side note: Maybe this is why Mr. Fear and I are such good buddies. LOL) 

This permission tightrope is everywhere. Not just my version above. Our entire world alludes to mixed messages on permission(s). Here are some interesting quotes that pop up: 

-   Free men do not ask permission to bear arms - Thomas Jefferson

  - Don't ask permission just ask forgiveness - Rear Admiral Grace Hopper

- Keep calm and always ask for permission - Coined in the U.K.

- Asking permission shows respect and guarantees an interested audience, Jerry Allocca 

-No one can take advantage of you without your permission, Ann Landers

 

Permission(s) can change with time, age, context, and understanding. Yet sometimes it does not change at all.  Our internal drive for connection will always request permission from those we care about.  Our need for care, from birth to adulthood, will always inspire adaptations as we strive for external approval and love. Our culture and environment will always suggest codes of conduct and morals outlining rights/permissions for social structure. Permission keeps us safe. Permission holds us back. 

Now, as a "grown-up", I am still the kid jumping and not asking questions.  The iron fist still scares me and leaves me with feelings of loneliness. The permission I sought for acceptance and for love came at a very high price. I understand it better now but the fear is still alive. It always will be. That's ok.🖏 I have traveled a long, long way with it. And although I still seek permission, my head knows I don't need it.  Someday my body will understand that too. I give myself permission to travel along this journey. To Learn. To Laugh. To Feel. To Move. I hope you do too. If not now, someday soon. 

Some Final Thoughts and Too Many Questions: 

To me, permission is energy. We can function without it or with it. It can move us and it can help us survive. 

The cost is dependent upon our comfort level.

  Our comfort level with fear. 

  Our comfort with being uncomfortable. 

-Does staying inside the bounds of granted permission and looking outward cost nothing????

-Does authenticity mean rejecting our current life??

 -Is self-love worth more or less than someone's approval(s)? 

-Can we be proud without confirmation from others?

 -Does the person/persons we seek approval from have the capacity for approval? 

-Will movement away from the comfort zone increase or decrease your internal worth?

 It may be that there are no clear answers. I certainly don't have any. Maybe my head gets in the way of my spirit for a good reason....or not. 

Maybe answers are discovered by asking questions and listening. 
Feeling and listening. Listening and Feeling. 

Giving yourself permission is complicated. 

Giving yourself permission is a choice. 

Giving yourself permission is difficult. 

Give yourself permission.

You and Your Something are worth it - period. 

Take Permission,

....and go.